Our Journey Home

Thursday, January 19, 2012

waiting in expectation

Last month, when we officially moved JJ from the bassinet in our bedroom into his crib in the children's bedroom, I'll be honest- I was expecting the worst. He had been in our bedroom for seven months, and while I know that sounds like a long time for our little man to be in a bassinet, he just wouldn't sleep through the night. I was in survival mode. wink. It was simply easier to feed JJ in our bed at 3am and then allow him to sleep the remainder of the night with us. Not ideal, but definately easier.
So, when Christmas came and David had a few weeks off from work, we decided it was time to transition JJ to his crib and train him to sleep through the night. We have all three children in one bedroom, so we explained to the girls that they would probably hear JJ crying in the middle of the night, but he was really okay and he would eventually go back to sleep. Wubs and Bella were so excited to have JJ joining them in the bedroom! As I laid JJ in his crib that first night, I was anticipating lots of crying (from both JJ and mommy). But guess what? JJ slept for 10 hours that night! And he woke up SO happy the next day! Apparently, he hadn't been sleeping through the night because he was so cramped up in that bassinet! It has been an entire month now of beautiful rest for our whole family.

I am sharing this story because through this small experience, the Lord showed me how often I tend to expect or anticipate the outcome of a situation. As a mommy, I have a tendency to think about several possible scenarios, over-pack the diaper bag, analyze the situation, etc, etc. Not that it is bad to prepare, assess, and plan ahead... but there comes a point when I tend to rely on my own strength and stop trusting the Lord's plan.

Yesterday morning during my quiet time I was reading in Psalm 5 and the Lord spoke very clearly to my heart. "In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation." I realized that by God's design, it is okay for me to 'wait in expectation'! The problem arises when I have expectations from anything or anyone other than our sovereign God. He alone is always faithful. His ways alone are always perfect. I know that the Lord knows my heart and He hears my prayers. Today I am waiting in expectant faith that the Lord will love me perfectly, refine me a little more in His image, and guide me as I grow closer to Him.

"In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation."- Psalm 5:3